Although the call of God is not like getting an acceptance letter from a top-notch university, living the Christian life sure feels like being enrolled in school (The School of Hard Knocks, perhaps.) The Great Dean of All Things seems to have a pretty rigorous curriculum and a consistent homework schedule. The problem is that most of the time, I am completely unaware of what they are. He does not often provide the most detailed syllabus... you know what I mean?
He also did not tell me until I was pretty well into the program that in some sense, I wasn't allowed to withdraw from the school, although some courses come up as "WF" (late withdrawal with failing grade) and have to be retaken. Again. And again. And again. It seems He has bought into the "cutting edge" idea of "mastery." This is the educational concept that one should not move on until one has mastered the previous concept. In educational terms, unless you get better than a B in Algebra I, you can't move on to Geometry. No slipping by with a D- here.
So here I am, pop-quizzed until it makes me wonder if I ought to look back and see if there were other more pleasant roads I could have chosen. If perhaps the plow these hands have started to push has started to veer in a direction altogether unplanned for and maybe not desired after. We here on earth have given it names and titles that attempt to bind them: crucibles, testing time, temptation, growth, training... but in the end, whatever we call them, we still have no idea what God is doing. In the end, we find that His plans far exceed ours, and His limits far outspan our meager attempts to control our lives.
So here I am. And I know that there is no sense in looking back because I already know there is nothing back there. I know that I still have no idea what God is doing, except that it is good. I know that no matter where I go, He is everywhere, and His training finds me in the remotest of places.
The chastening and training of God in my own personal life is a lesson plan that I do not have access to, and I doubt that many people do. Even the most seemingly clear objectives may be just the tip of an iceberg. But it's comforting that I can rest, knowing that come what may, with Jesus in the vessel, I am safe. (Maybe not smiling at the storm, as the children's song goes, but you know. Sometimes the lemonade that comes from these lemons doesn't taste so good, but lemonade is lemonade.)
Whatever the case may be, UGE is an institution I am privileged to say that I have fully bought in to, and I also fully endorse.
I am also happy that I have fellow students who I am grateful to be able to work in cooperation with...
I am also glad to be on break from my job at the school. Even though UGE has no designated breaks, I'm glad to have a physical one where I can (as I tell my students) "reacquaint myself with the life I left behind for you guys!" I miss them a lot, but I am glad to have this bit of respite...
Not too much to say otherwise! I am spent.
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